Taking time


There have been a few days in the recent weeks when this whole being a Mum thing has been really overwhelming. With Forrest starting to gain his mobility and independence, there has been a lot more standing and falling and catching and bumping going on in this house. Sometimes he falls over hard and it still upsets me even though I know it is part of his learning. This combined with the two new teeth have made things ever so challenging. Those teeth are super sharp considering they are only just poking out of the gums and nobody tells you that babies will bite. Sorry to Billy, a good friend and fellow punters for screaming so loudly in the pub on Sunday afternoon but it really really hurt. 

All of this has amounted to me feeling a lot more tired than normal. It was only a few days ago I realised that aside from a couple of occasions when Billy has taken Forrest for a walk or for breakfast, I have not spent more than a couple of hours away from my son since he was born. In fact, when he was a newborn these little breaks were far more frequent as he slept so much in the beginning. This has probably a lot to do with the fact that we never got around to introducing a bottle properly. I am a lazy pumper and I truly hate doing it. I find it much quicker and am much happier to just feed my baby myself. However, because of this and my commitment to breastfeeding in general, it is not possible for me to be away from my baby for long periods of time. Very few people understand this properly. Along with the countless lovely offers to babysit, I have had a few people question why we have not yet left Forrest for a date night or whatnot. It’s not their fault, they just don’t realise the logistics involved with his feeding and that leaving a baby who has no real experience of bottle feeding is a recipe for disaster!

But last week, probably somewhere amidst the biting and the wrestling, I realised that I was nearly ready to have some time alone and that I really needed it. Time just to have a bath, wash my hair properly, maybe read or browse the internet without a baby hanging on my legs or dribbling in my ear. Maybe just a coffee for an hour with a close friend or a tiny bit of shopping (a task I have found incredibly stressful since he was born). Billy has of course been offering to take Forrest pretty much every weekend since February but it’s only about now I have felt that maybe I am ready to take him up on his offer. It hasn’t happened yet. Understandably thinking about it makes me a little anxious but my birthday is coming up in a few weeks to who knows what I might get up to. I am hoping it will involve a haircut.

(these photos are a tad unrelated but my goodness I love him so)


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